How to Help Your Child Grow in BJJ
- Adisa Banjoko aka Bishop
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
A Shared Journey Between Parents and Instructors
The growing popularity of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) among children has brought countless benefits to young practitioners, from improved physical fitness to enhanced self-confidence. However, as more families join the BJJ community, it’s crucial to understand that developing a disciplined martial artist requires a partnership between instructors, parents, and students.
“In Jiu-Jitsu, we become a family,” Helio Gracie once said, emphasizing the communal aspect of training. This family extends beyond the mat, with parents playing an essential role in reinforcing the values taught in class.
While skilled instructors are invaluable mentors, they typically see students for only a few hours each week. The real development of discipline happens in the daily moments between classes, where parents have the unique opportunity to reinforce martial arts values and safety principles.
Parents can help their children understand this by discussing how focused training leads to better skills and safer practice. When children grasp that discipline isn’t punishment but rather a tool for improvement, they’re more likely to embrace it willingly.
Safety concerns arise when students treat the mats as a playground rather than a learning environment. A distracted moment of carelessness can result in injuries that affect both the distracted student and their training partners. Carlos Gracie Jr. often emphasized that “Jiu-Jitsu is both an art and a science,” requiring students to approach it with appropriate respect and attention.
One way parents can help reinforce safety is by making sure that the students' jiu-jitsu uniform, rashguard, and body are consistently clean. Toenails and fingernails should be trimmed regularly to help avoid scrapes and cuts that can lead to infections like staph and ringworm.
Parents, family members, and mentors can support their children’s journey by:
- Having regular conversations about the responsibility that comes with learning martial arts
- Discussing specific examples of how focus and discipline lead to better technique
- Encouraging questions about the “why” behind certain rules and restrictions
- Celebrating moments when their child demonstrates good judgment and self-control
- Working with instructors to address any behavioral concerns constructively
The goal isn’t to remove fun from training — joy is an essential part of learning. Rather, it’s about helping children understand the balance between enjoyment and responsibility. As Helio Gracie noted, “Jiu-Jitsu is for everyone, but not everyone is for Jiu-Jitsu.” This speaks to the importance of maintaining proper discipline and respect for the art.
When parents and instructors work together, children receive consistent messages about expectations and behavior. This unified approach helps young practitioners develop the discipline needed to progress safely in their martial arts journey while building character that serves them both on and off the mats.
Remember, the most valuable lessons in martial arts often extend far beyond technique. By actively participating in their children’s BJJ education, parents help create not just better practitioners, but more disciplined, respectful individuals ready to face life’s challenges.
Adisa Banjoko is a BJJ black belt, award-winning writer, speaker, and documentary filmmaker. Adisa has lectured on martial arts history and philosophy at Harvard, Stanford, Brown, Oberlin, and many other universities. He founded the ONLINE community, the Resilient Men’s Group, to help men heal mentally, emotionally, and physically.
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